Where are the millionaires?

Isn’t that what every Realtor is asking themselves today? Sure we don’t want to sound like a bunch of jackals looking for our next big sale. But I am here to tell you unequivocally if it wasn’t for my humanitarian love mother earth and hug a tree upbringing I would be a millionaire. Ethically I was raised right. You never talk about people unless; they can’t hear what you are saying. If you have to be catty then always end the sentence with “bless their heart” somehow God will forgive you. And if you have to stare keep a smile on your face and you won’t insult them. Look I know we should help every client and try to find homes for any buyer. I also know in Sales 101 that anyone walking through that door is a possible buyer/seller. Well I say peshaw. Give me the millionaires that will buy a beach house from me without looking at the price. Give me the day where I can make over $100,000 commissions. Give me the Donald Trump’s that wants unobstructed views of the ocean. Give me that family that wants a condominium as their 4th vacation spot. Am I being selfish? Maybe so, sue me.

What burns me to the core is why do I have to drive around for a full day (practically) showing homes to potential buyer only to have a wife whine about “the kitchen isn’t big enough”. Or God forbid the closets are too small. I actually had a woman tell me she wasn’t sure about the neighborhood while she was sporting a mullet, chewing bubble gum in 70’s high heels. Okay so we need to be compassionate and understand that not everyone can look as good as we do. Not everyone can have the “realtor” hairdo as my father calls it. What does he know about hairdo? That man hasn’t had a hair on his head for at over 20 years. But really folks I am a good person. I just want that Millionaire to walk in and sign on the dotted line. I know everyone pines for that day. Some of you may have had that happen. If you are selling a 4-bedroom house without the buyers humming and hawing then you are one of the few. Maybe you can talk your sellers down 10% to ensure that sale then, Hallelujah! Some of us aren’t so lucky. Some of our sellers think they own gold. I want to walk away from them really I do, especially when they call every week asking “have you sold it yet?”

Okay so don’t judge a book by it’s cover right? I can buy that, I am even willing to take the family that just moved from Art-Cant-Saw to show them a beach house. The whole time I am thinking this is a waste of my time. But they were approved and who am I to say no to a 6% commission. I just cannot stand to have little sticky fingerprints on my windows while mom and dad ignore the little takes over as I accept the parent’s apology. I guess what I am saying is this isn’t an easy critters. Am I the only one smiling and fluttering my eyelashes when dad chuckles at mom as he smacks her backside. Be polite is my mantra. I try not to gasp when the kid is hanging from a doorknob screaming he wants to go home. Yes I have had those days. I have even considered tripping the lil monster but my maternal side business to get into. But I got to be honest with you I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else when I see that family sign on the dotted line.